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Thursday, June 18, 2009

RIM Takes a Trip to the Woodshed

rimmGood apparently isn’t good enough for RIM investors. The BlackBerry maker reported earnings for its first fiscal quarter that rose 33 percent to $3.42 billion on strong sales. And while that was in line with the Street’s $3.41 billion consensus estimate, the company’s shares slipped nearly five percent in after-hours trading.

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Friday, May 1, 2009

But That “People Familiar With the Matter” Stuff Ain’t Gonna Fly Here

jjj_godzilla_thumbBusiness journalists who had their careers curtailed by the souring economy might consider stopping by the Securities and Exchange Commission on their next trip to the unemployment office. The agency may have a good use for their talents, according to Chairman Mary Schapiro, who finds the sadly diminished ranks of the business press worrisome.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

AAPL Sauce

As one might imagine, Apple’s shareholders did not take the news of Steve Jobs’s medical leave of absence well. And learning that his “health-related issues are more complex” than first believed certainly didn’t help matters. After trading resumed, Apple shares tanked, plummeting eight percent to $78.50 (and knocking about $6.4 billion off the company’s market cap) before recovering a bit.

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Apple’s Steve Jobs: “I Have Decided to Take a Medical Leave of Absence”

Trading in Apple shares was halted this afternoon when the company announced that Apple CEO Steve Jobs is taking a medical leave of absence until the end of June. Apple COO Tim Cook will handle day-to-day operations in his absence. And Jobs is to remain involved in major strategic decisions. Jobs broke the news to investors in the following memo…

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Apple Investors: “Philnote” Just Doesn’t Have the Same Ring to It

Told that Macworld Expo 2009 will be Apple’s last, and the first that CEO Steve Jobs does not keynote, investors behaved much as you’d imagine, dragging the company’s shares into the mud in after-hours trading. Fueling the panic: obvious concerns about Jobs’s well-being. And, of course, speculation that Macworld is likely to disappoint devotees hoping for the introduction of some insanely great new product. But would Apple really send Senior VP Phil Schiller out onto the Macworld stage without a cool new product to introduce?

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Macworld Without Steve? That’s Like “Baywatch” Without Hasselhoff

Dissapointing news for the Mac faithful and anyone who’s ever seen Apple CEO Steve Jobs deliver his annual Macworld keynote address. Macworld Expo 2009 will be the first such event that Jobs will not keynote and the last the company will attend.

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Report: 2008 IPO Market Obviously Lousy

With the economy in contraction and the stock market going all to hell, 2008 was not a good year for the IPO market. In fact, volumewise, it’s looking like it was one of the worst in the last 13 years. Global IPO activity has more than halved since 2007, according to Ernst & Young’s year-end Global IPO update.

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

AT&T Announces Q4 Morale Reduction

AT&T joined the sad conga line of companies laying off workers, announcing on Thursday the elimination of 12,000 jobs. That’s roughly four percent of its workforce. The company cited “economic pressures, a changing business mix and a more streamlined organizational structure” as the rationale for the move.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Adobe Announces Crash® CS4 Professional

Well, no wonder Adobe won’t have an exhibition booth at Macworld Conference & Expo 2009–the company seems to be sacking employees who might have otherwise staffed it.… Citing the standard litany of economic tribulations, Adobe Wednesday reduced its fourth-quarter outlook and said it will cut 600 jobs around the world–about eight percent of its workforce.

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About John

John Paczkowski has been poking fun at the tech industry and the personalities that drive it since 1997. From 1999 to 2007, he wrote the award-winning tech news Web log Good Morning Silicon Valley for the San Jose Mercury News, Silicon Valley's daily newspaper.

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Ethics Statement

Here is a statement of my ethics and coverage policies. It is more than most of you want to know, but, in the age of suspicion of the media, I am laying it all out.

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alt.misc

  • 10 Best Uses Of Classical Music In Classic Cartoons

    Includes “Pigs in a Polka,” “Rabbit of Seville” and, of course, “What’s Opera, Doc?”

  • Web Site Story

    Take the famous ballads and duets of West Side Story, insert a dozen mentions of famous social media sites like twitter and facebook, and this is what you get.

  • Wooden iPod

    An iPod mini rebuilt with a wooden case

  • Han Solo, P.I.

    Star Wars meets Magnum, P.I.

  • The “literal video” collection

    Music videos recreated with new lyrics based on what’s actually happening in them. Daydream Believer and Total Eclipse of the Heart are particularly good.

  • E-Mail From Your Facilities Department

    In response to numerous e-mails, I have no idea what planet the giant alien creature is from. Judging from its enormous gills, I’d have to guess it’s from a watery planet. Reminder: please let me know if you plan to be in the office on Memorial Day so I can request HVAC for your floor.

  • Amazon Customer Reviews: Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

    For those of you who mock the wolf shirt beware. There is an old Navajo story about a young man who made fun of another man for wearing a wolf trio shirt. Legend has it that in his sleep, the wolves on the other man’s shirt came to life and tore his body to shreds. They never found any part of that man’s body. The Wolf is something to be respected and feared, not treated like a novelty.

  • Nice Muscle!

    Hands down the most inexplicably bizarre game for Wii I’ve ever seen

  • Respectful Yo Mama Jokes

    Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

  • Introduction to Microcontroller Programming: The Flatulometer

    The inspiration for this project was to determine who could generate the worst flatulence measurable in a personally unbiased manner.

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