Friday, November 21, 2008
We’re Doomed…
What an abundance of ugly statistics we’ve seen this past week. An increase in tech sector layoffs and people talking about them. A decrease in chip sales. A decrease in online spending. And now a decrease in corporate IT spending as well.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Forrester CEO: Here’s a Little Song I Wrote …
Wonderful news. The recession’s impact on the tech sector will not be nearly as pronounced as its predecessor’s, which turned Webvan’s refrigerated Freightliner trucks into hipster moving vans and made the Pets.com mascot piddle itself into oblivion like a submissive puppy. That’s the word from Forrester Research CEO George Colony, who believes the current downturn will be far kinder to tech than the one that heralded The Great Dark Time of 2001-2003.
Monday, September 29, 2008
In Other News, Employees Spend 25 Percent of Work Time Reading Stupid Surveys
Astonishing. The average prole spends more than 25 percent of his or her time online at work on personal activities. That’s the word from IT consultancy Voco, apparently having just discovered that the Internet, which essentially puts a concert hall, movie theater, TV, brokerage firm, shopping mall, garage sale and family/friend gathering on every employee desktop, can be–gasp–a distraction in the workplace.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Street Unimpressed by Dell Depressiron
If Dell sees “further softening” in global demand for its products it’s going to need stilts to keep from sagging below water level. Shares in the company fell to their lowest point in seven years Tuesday after Dell warned of a slowdown in investment technology spending in the U.S. and abroad.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
In Other News, 88 Percent of IT Admins Like to Think of Themselves as Badasses
If they were to be sacked tomorrow, a staggering 88 percent of IT administrators would steal sensitive company information. This according to a new survey from Cyber-Ark, which found that IT security professionals aren’t above indulging in a bit of vindictive corporate espionage, given the right circumstances.
Oh, One More Thing … Microsoft SQL Server 2008 Release Candidate
Microsoft kicked off its annual Tech·Ed conference in Orlando, Fla., this morning–not that anyone’s noticed. And who could blame them, really. The Steve Jobs Show is always a tough act to follow, tougher still when it features a special appearance by
Apple’s iPhone 3G, OS X Snow Leopard and .mac replacement MobileMe.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Think of It as an iPhone With a Broken Touchscreen
With its curvier edges, stylish silver trim, half-VGA 480-by-320 pixel screen and improved iTunes compatibility, Research in Motion’s new BlackBerry Bold should be a big hit with IT operations professionals convinced the iPhone isn’t an enterprise-class mobile device but driven to near-aneurysm by discontented employees demanding them.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Time to Get Rid of Those Two-Stroke Diesel Data Centers
Now that venture capitalists are so taken with green tech, perhaps they can push some VC dollars toward the development of a greener data center. Because according to consultancy McKinsey, data centers are fast becoming the Superfund sites of the tech industry. McKinsey found that data centers are responsible for 0.3% of the world’s carbon-dioxide [...]
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Sure You’re Not Called the “Outlandish Group”?
Get this: A new report from the Standish Group claims that FOSS–free and open source software–is decimating the software market. To wit:
Open Source software is raising havoc throughout the software market. It is the ultimate in disruptive technology, and while to it is only 6% of estimated trillion dollars IT budgeted annually, it represents a [...]
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About John
John Paczkowski has been poking fun at the tech industry and the personalities that drive it since 1997. From 1999 to 2007, he wrote the award-winning tech news Web log Good Morning Silicon Valley for the San Jose Mercury News, Silicon Valley's daily newspaper. Read more »
Ethics Statement
Here is a statement of my ethics and coverage policies. It is more than most of you want to know, but, in the age of suspicion of the media, I am laying it all out.
alt.misc
- Godzilla’s Food, Exercise, and Dream Diary
12:58 AM: Breakfast: Two schools of fish from Tokyo Bay. Calories: 782,000. How I was feeling when I ate this: confused, irradiated, hating my size.
11:37 AM: Exercise: “Taxi Stomp” (alternating legs, for 30 blocks). Calories burned: 148,900,183. - Scenes From An Alternate Universe Where The Beatles Accepted Lorne Michaels’ Generous Offer
1983. The Beatles announce their first tour in thirteen years, but likewise announce that Michael Jackson will be going on tour with them as a one gigantic mega-concert event.
- The Golden Age of Video
Best video mashup ever.
- I’m not dead yet
A Facebook Memorial
- Pulp Fiction Audio Mix
Wow.
- A world without the Internet
Worth it for the Rickrolling photo alone.
- Google Wave Cinema: Pulp Fiction
Excellent.
- Dead Fly Art
Flughumor!
- Happy Birthday Monty Python …
… you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous perverts
- ‘You are being shagged by a rare parrot’
Stephen Fry and zoologist Mark Carwardine meet the kakapo — a fat, flightless and very randy rare parrot.
