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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

E=MC Scared

EMC posted fourth-quarter financials today, reporting sales that were basically in line with projections and earnings that slipped 45 percent from a year ago. Though its profits sank, the company managed to hit all its financial marks for the fourth quarter–something it won’t be doing in the current one. Because the worldwide economic situation has grown so grim and uncertain, EMC has opted not to provide a first-quarter projection, let alone a full-year outlook. Why risk setting expectations too high, right?

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Forrester: Looks Like We Got Our 2009 Tech Spending Growth Numbers Reversed…

Enterprise technology spending grew seven percent in 2007, according to a new report from Forrester Research. It grew 4.1 percent in 2008. And it was expected to grow 6.1 percent in 2009. But with information technology departments steeling themselves against the economic downturn, that’s no longer the case. In 2009, spending will grow not 6.1 percent, but 1.6 percent.

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Better RIM Than Yahoo …

Just because Microsoft acquired Danger doesn’t mean the company has its eye on Research in Motion, though some observers apparently feel otherwise. Noting the ugly decline in RIM’s share price in recent months and a financial crisis that’s already slowing the corporate IT spending that is its lifeblood, Canaccord Adams analyst Peter Misek speculates that the Blackberry peddler is a good takeover target for Microsoft.

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$22-a-share? What a Bunch of Yahoos …

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Ballmer’s Solution to Financial Crisis: Stop Watching CNBC

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About John

John Paczkowski has been poking fun at the tech industry and the personalities that drive it since 1997. From 1999 to 2007, he wrote the award-winning tech news Web log Good Morning Silicon Valley for the San Jose Mercury News, Silicon Valley's daily newspaper.

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Ethics Statement

Here is a statement of my ethics and coverage policies. It is more than most of you want to know, but, in the age of suspicion of the media, I am laying it all out.

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alt.misc

  • 10 Best Uses Of Classical Music In Classic Cartoons

    Includes “Pigs in a Polka,” “Rabbit of Seville” and, of course, “What’s Opera, Doc?”

  • Web Site Story

    Take the famous ballads and duets of West Side Story, insert a dozen mentions of famous social media sites like twitter and facebook, and this is what you get.

  • Wooden iPod

    An iPod mini rebuilt with a wooden case

  • Han Solo, P.I.

    Star Wars meets Magnum, P.I.

  • The “literal video” collection

    Music videos recreated with new lyrics based on what’s actually happening in them. Daydream Believer and Total Eclipse of the Heart are particularly good.

  • E-Mail From Your Facilities Department

    In response to numerous e-mails, I have no idea what planet the giant alien creature is from. Judging from its enormous gills, I’d have to guess it’s from a watery planet. Reminder: please let me know if you plan to be in the office on Memorial Day so I can request HVAC for your floor.

  • Amazon Customer Reviews: Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

    For those of you who mock the wolf shirt beware. There is an old Navajo story about a young man who made fun of another man for wearing a wolf trio shirt. Legend has it that in his sleep, the wolves on the other man’s shirt came to life and tore his body to shreds. They never found any part of that man’s body. The Wolf is something to be respected and feared, not treated like a novelty.

  • Nice Muscle!

    Hands down the most inexplicably bizarre game for Wii I’ve ever seen

  • Respectful Yo Mama Jokes

    Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

  • Introduction to Microcontroller Programming: The Flatulometer

    The inspiration for this project was to determine who could generate the worst flatulence measurable in a personally unbiased manner.

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