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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Global IT Market: Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me

beendownsolongFirst-quarter spending on information technology goods and services was worse than Forrester Research predicted at the beginning of the year. But it will grow no worse. We’ve hit bottom. Finally. According to Forrester, anyway.

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Friday, April 3, 2009

IBM Mulling Sun “Resource Action”?

sun_ibmjpgNeither Sun nor IBM will confirm that the two companies are even in talks, but the two will reportedly announce their merger on Monday–not today as previously thought. And after the deal, then what? Massive layoffs, most likely.

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Cisco to Rivals: Tonight You Sleep in Hell!

braveheartCisco has finally crossed the Rubicon. Long a partner to the big server makers, the networking equipment giant today became a competitor, announcing an aggressive push into the server market. No longer content to peddle switches and routers alone, Cisco is now selling a full-blown data center solution.

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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Liberty Seriously Considering Sirius?

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Forrester: Looks Like We Got Our 2009 Tech Spending Growth Numbers Reversed…

Enterprise technology spending grew seven percent in 2007, according to a new report from Forrester Research. It grew 4.1 percent in 2008. And it was expected to grow 6.1 percent in 2009. But with information technology departments steeling themselves against the economic downturn, that’s no longer the case. In 2009, spending will grow not 6.1 percent, but 1.6 percent.

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Forrester CEO: Here’s a Little Song I Wrote …

Wonderful news. The recession’s impact on the tech sector will not be nearly as pronounced as its predecessor’s, which turned Webvan’s refrigerated Freightliner trucks into hipster moving vans and made the Pets.com mascot piddle itself into oblivion like a submissive puppy. That’s the word from Forrester Research CEO George Colony, who believes the current downturn will be far kinder to tech than the one that heralded The Great Dark Time of 2001-2003.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Yahoo! Morale Booster

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Forrester: Sad Tidings We Bring to Your Holiday Earnings

Not that there’s reason to expect anything different, but online retail sales are expected to slow for the first time ever this holiday season, thanks to the lousy economy. That’s the word from Forrester Research, which expects holiday shoppers to spend $44 billion online this year.

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Ballmer’s Solution to Financial Crisis: Stop Watching CNBC

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Surf the Skies at DSL Speeds–Assuming Your Laptop Hasn’t Been Confiscated by the TSA

American Airlines rolled out its take on cloud computing today, becoming the first airline in the U.S. to offer full in-flight broadband access. Dubbed “GoGo” and provided by AirCell, the service is available for a flat $12.95 fee on flights between New York and San Francisco, New York and Los Angeles, and New York and Miami.

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Friday, June 13, 2008

Yah-ewww

Like great civilizations, great companies are not conquered from without until they have destroyed themselves from within. And Yahoo appears to be well on its way to doing just that. Shares in the company slid still deeper into the mud today as the market reflected on the uneventful conclusion of the company’s merger talks with Microsoft and its decision to–well, let’s face it–become a reseller of Google ads.

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Zune to Be Forgotten?

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Pull Those Engineers Off OS X 10.6 and Put Them on the Clock Radio …

dumbestprecitions.jpg Good thing Forrester doesn’t run Apple, because if it did the company would be well on its way to insolvency. In an astonishingly unimaginative report called “The Future of Apple Inc.,” Forrester attempts to divine the products Apple will be peddling 5 years from now.

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About John

John Paczkowski has been poking fun at the tech industry and the personalities that drive it since 1997. From 1999 to 2007, he wrote the award-winning tech news Web log Good Morning Silicon Valley for the San Jose Mercury News, Silicon Valley's daily newspaper.

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Ethics Statement

Here is a statement of my ethics and coverage policies. It is more than most of you want to know, but, in the age of suspicion of the media, I am laying it all out.

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alt.misc

  • 10 Best Uses Of Classical Music In Classic Cartoons

    Includes “Pigs in a Polka,” “Rabbit of Seville” and, of course, “What’s Opera, Doc?”

  • Web Site Story

    Take the famous ballads and duets of West Side Story, insert a dozen mentions of famous social media sites like twitter and facebook, and this is what you get.

  • Wooden iPod

    An iPod mini rebuilt with a wooden case

  • Han Solo, P.I.

    Star Wars meets Magnum, P.I.

  • The “literal video” collection

    Music videos recreated with new lyrics based on what’s actually happening in them. Daydream Believer and Total Eclipse of the Heart are particularly good.

  • E-Mail From Your Facilities Department

    In response to numerous e-mails, I have no idea what planet the giant alien creature is from. Judging from its enormous gills, I’d have to guess it’s from a watery planet. Reminder: please let me know if you plan to be in the office on Memorial Day so I can request HVAC for your floor.

  • Amazon Customer Reviews: Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

    For those of you who mock the wolf shirt beware. There is an old Navajo story about a young man who made fun of another man for wearing a wolf trio shirt. Legend has it that in his sleep, the wolves on the other man’s shirt came to life and tore his body to shreds. They never found any part of that man’s body. The Wolf is something to be respected and feared, not treated like a novelty.

  • Nice Muscle!

    Hands down the most inexplicably bizarre game for Wii I’ve ever seen

  • Respectful Yo Mama Jokes

    Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

  • Introduction to Microcontroller Programming: The Flatulometer

    The inspiration for this project was to determine who could generate the worst flatulence measurable in a personally unbiased manner.

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