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It has happened every September since 2005, and in a few short weeks it will happen once again. Apple is indeed planning a keynote event for the week of Sept. 7. And according to sources close to the company, the date is Wednesday, Sept. 9. Sadly, it will not feature the tablet device the company is rumored to be developing.

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According to a recent study by Nielsen Online, Twitter’s audience-retention rate is currently about 40 percent. Which means that about 60 percent of U.S. Twitter users end up abandoning the service after a month. Why is Twitter struggling with low retention rates? Perhaps, because so many tweets are utter nonsense.

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It’s been a long time between weekend updates, and a long week without Peter Kafka, All Things D’s intrepid MediaMemo reporter. He returns Monday, and just in time, too, since John Paczkowski and Digital Daily will be out all next week. Must be August–do Europeans still take the whole month off? Or is that an urban legend? No matter; it definitely has not been sleepy around here.

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Twitter, Facebook and LiveJournal are back up after being felled earlier this morning by denial-of-service attacks that rendered them inaccessible. It’s not yet known if the attacks were related, although, as a LiveJournal spokesperson notes, “it would be a huge coincidence” if they weren’t.

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Looks like News Corp. was a little too optimistic when the company told investors in May that it expected a decline of around 30 percent in fiscal-year-adjusted operating income. Reporting earnings this afternoon, the publisher of The Wall Street Journal and this Web site instead posted a decline of 32.5 percent.

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In August 2008, Facebook claimed 100 million monthly active users worldwide. By April 2009, it doubled that number. Today, the social networking outfit tells us it has reached 250 million monthly active users. Fifty million new users in under four months: Impressive.

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Tagged.com claims it is the third-largest social network in the U.S., in terms of total monthly visits. And now, perhaps, we know why: Tagged lured new members to its site by tricking users into providing it with access to their personal email contacts. The company then spammed those contacts with promotional emails disguised as invitations to view personal photos. And when they registered with Tagged to view those photos, the company spammed their contacts as well. An interesting variation on the “membership drive” and one that’s gotten Tagged in hot water with New York Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, who intends to sue the company.

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MySpace has extended its war on bloat overseas. This morning the company announced plans to close at least four of its offices outside the U.S. in a bid to reduce costs. Some 300 of the company’s 450 international employees will lose their jobs as a result.

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The ax has finally swung at MySpace. This morning the AOL of social networks announced plans to sack 30 percent of its workforce. All told, 420 workers will lose their jobs, reducing the size of the company’s staff to 1,000 employees. CEO Owen Van Natta’s all-hands memo, after the jump.

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In advance of its shareholder meeting today, Google is holding a press event at its Mountain View, Calif., campus with CEO Eric Schmidt presiding. Also on hand: Dave Drummond, senior vice president of corporate development; Susan Wojcicki, vice president for product management, and Marissa Mayer, vice president, search products and user experience. Hot topics of the day: Google’s and Apple’s interlocking boards, YouTube and the company’s thoughts on the econalypse, AOL and netbooks.

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Think of it as Facebook for the people you actually know and like, those whose health and safety you’d worry about in a natural disaster. It’s called Microsoft Vine and it’s not so much a social network as it is a “societal” one–or at least, Redmond likes to bill it as such.

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Welcome back to Weekend Update, where we showcase some of the highlights from this site over the past week. In the umpteenth round of the old versus new media match, the Associated Press in its annual meeting this week played into the stereotype of the grizzled no-nonsense editor who shakes his fist at the new interweb thing (or was it intertube?) and its feisty friend, Google News, who are running amok on his lawn.

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Welcome once more to Weekend Update! I’ll be filling in today for your regular host Beth Callaghan, who’s on vacation. And what sane person wouldn’t be, after the slew of Silicon Valley silliness inspired by April Fools Day this past week? Digital pranks were the name of the game, and Google and others heaped so many tepid hoaxes upon us that we wanted to call April Fold so as to quickly end this round of gags.

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Just as the mobile Web and the wired Web are converging, so too are their audiences, which are destined to reach parity in size–and sooner, rather than later. According to the latest metrics from comScore, day-to-day mobile Internet usage in the states doubled over the last year.

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