Thursday, May 17, 2007

... The trouble is I don’t understand the language. I don’t really understand what a Web site is.”

— British judge Peter Openshaw says maybe he’s not the best guy to preside over a trial of three men accused of inciting terrorism via the Internet.

... I didn’t have a clue what was going on, I assumed they’d got the wrong house. I couldn’t believe it when I realised they’d mistaken a Lara Croft dummy for someone with a gun.”

— Computer shop owner David Williams explains his Lara Croft mannequin’s run-in with the local authorities.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

... The whole, ‘We have a list and we’re not telling you,’ itself should tell you something. Don’t you think that if Microsoft actually had some really foolproof patent, they’d just tell us and go ‘nyaah, nyaah, nyaah’?”

— Linux founder Linus Torvalds puts Microsoft’s latest open-source patent claims in perspective.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

... It’s only a matter of time before Apple produces a TV ad showing the guy who says, “Hi, I’m a PC” covered in Christmas lights.”

— Tech writer Mike Elgan says we need a Gadget Bill of Lights that prohibits electronics makers from overlighting their products.

Monday, May 14, 2007

... Attractive things work better. When you wash and wax a car, it drives better, doesn’t it? Or at least feels like it does.”

— Nielsen Norman Group principal Don Norman explains the fatal design flaw in Microsoft’s “National Park bench brown” Zune digital media player.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

... Who are we? We are Linux. You and I. We are Linux. And we’re going to put a car in the Indianapolis 500. It’s time people know who we are. What better place is there to tell them?”

— Bob Moore, founder of the Tux500–an effort to put a Linux-sponsored car in the the Indianapolis 500–sorely underestimates the size of the crossover audience between the auto-racing and open-source communities.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

... For a lot of states, it is far more important to have a really good football team than it is to have a really good IP team.”

— Institute for Systems Biology President and world-renowned molecular biologist Leroy Hood says his intellectual-property scholars would take the college football team any day.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

... If you bid that number on my house, I won’t sell it to you.”

— Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates finds Zillow’s “Zestimate” for the re-sale value of his home a bit light.

... It would be like Carl Lewis genetically absorbing the post- ‘Super Size Me’ Morgan Spurlock.”

— Bubblegeneration’s Umair Haque on suggestions that Google buy Yahoo.

Monday, May 7, 2007

... For the first several weeks, the machine learns the drinking patterns of its users. Then it adapts. Every Sunday afternoon, it’s French vanilla cappuccino time. Each weekday morning, it starts brewing a triple espresso at 7 a.m. After dinner, it does up a creamy decaf café au lait.”

— James Pappas of JL Hufford Coffee and Tea describes an artificially intelligent coffee maker designed to make your perfect cup every time.

Friday, May 4, 2007

... Pretending there are Internet and non-Internet aspects to a tech company like Microsoft is like pretending you can have peeing and non-peeing sections in a swimming pool. It doesn’t work.”

— Entrepreneur Paul Kedrosky ably dismisses suggestions that Microsoft needs to spin out its “Internet” business and combine it with Yahoo.

... If things continue the way they are, we’ll have a nation of Justins. We’ll have 250 million people broadcasting themselves, and it’s absurd. When you have 250 million people broadcasting themselves … how much more ludicrous can that be?”

— Silicon Valley entrepreneur Andrew Keen worries that Justin.tv–a Web site that broadcasts founder Justin Kan’s life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week–may prefigure Fox Reality TV’s 2010 programming lineup.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

... Our artificial mucus not only offers improved odor discrimination for electronic noses, it also offers much shorter analysis times than conventional techniques.”

— University of Warwick researcher Julian Gardner explains that artificial noses perform better when they’re runny.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

... My 85-year-old uncle probably will never own an iPod, and I hope we’ll get him to own a Zune.”

— Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer announces a new plan to drive Zune sales.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

... As a matter of course, I have the vision of Playstation 4, 5 and 6, which will merge into the network.”

— Ken Kutaragi, Sony Computer Entertainment’s soon-to-retire chairman and group chief executive, explains the company’s next gaming console disaster.