Monday, June 11, 2007

... In his case, the blood kept coming back as dark green instead of bright red. It was sort of a green-black. … Like an avocado skin maybe. We were very concerned, obviously.”

— Dr. Alana Flexman describes a highly illogical encounter with a man who appeared to have Vulcan blood.

... As phones continue to shrink in size, they also become easier to lose, so people need to take extra care.”

— Karen Darby of SimplySwitch.com says 885,000 people drop their cellphones in the toilet each year.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

... It will be nice to finally have a college degree on my résumé.”

— Microsoft Chairman and Harvard University dropout Bill Gates on graduating at last from his alma mater.

... The variant in this patient can be labeled more specifically as ‘Wii-itis.’ The treatment consisted of ibuprofen for one week, as well as complete abstinence from playing Wii video games. The patient recovered fully.”

— Physician Julio Bonis diagnoses himself with simulated tennis elbow.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

... Craptacular day. Up way too late yet again. UPDATED PICTURE.”

— An example of “Twitterku” (haiku composed of three lines of Twitter updates)

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

... Before it would cost $5 million to do something stupid. Now it costs $12,000 to do something stupid.”

— Entrepreneur Guy Kawasaki explains his new start-up funding strategy.

Monday, June 4, 2007

... We’ve kept our marriage secret for over a decade.”

— Apple CEO Steve Jobs defines the greatest misunderstanding in his relationship with Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

... So without any further ado, please welcome the chairman of Viacom, a director of National Amusements Inc., the sultan of synergy, conquerer of worlds, slayer of the Great Bear and lead singer of Incubus–Mr. Philippe Dauman.”

— Stephen Colbert introduces Viacom Chairman Philippe Dauman at All Things Digital 5.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

... Nobody works every minute they are at work, which means the Google Geeks are constantly talking with each other, team building, bonding and goofing off. And for 20% of that goofing-off time, I’ll guarantee you that many of these people are discussing their pet projects, 99.75% of which have been REJECTED by the company.”

— Robert X. Cringely suggests that the company that will supplant Google is already an idea in the head of one of its employees.

Friday, May 25, 2007

... Only someone stupid enough to buy a Zune would be equally stupid enough to not sell their discarded iPod on eBay.”

— Blogger Ariel Waldman sounds off on Microsoft’s iPod amnesty bin.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

... If you control all the domains, then you control the Internet.”

— Kevin Ham, owner of a portfolio of 300,000 domains that, combined with several other ventures, generate an estimated $70 million a year in revenue.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

... It’s true that some people will be worried about the–let’s call them side effects. But if we eliminate the erectile effects, I don’t see why people wouldn’t consider taking it.”

— Researcher Diego Golombek explains his discovery that Viagra is also good for relieving some forms of jet lag–in hamsters.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

... You might be wondering what pink bunny slippers have to do with Tesla Motors. Tesla Motors has set out to change people’s perceptions of electric vehicles as slow and ugly. Well, my slippers are faster than most, and not so ugly, I hope.”

— If you can’t afford a Tesla Roadster, perhaps Tesla Motors Firmware Engineer Greg Solberg will sell you one of his giant motorized bunny slippers.

Monday, May 21, 2007

... When it opened, 85% of people who didn’t go said it was because they didn’t have three and a half hours to spend. People aren’t used to double bills. Of course, when I grew up you’d go to the movies, watch the first film, the second film, and the first film again. But people have Internet-y things to do today.”

— Film producer Harvey Weinstein blames Grindhouse’s box-office failure on the Internet.

Friday, May 18, 2007

... They said it might be a bandwidth issue, but they created the Internet, so I don’t know what the problem is.”

— YouTube CEO Chad Hurley questions the Pentagon’s rationale for banning military access to MySpace, YouTube, Photobucket and eight other popular Web sites.