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Monday, June 1, 2009

E-Mail From Your Facilities Department

In response to numerous e-mails, I have no idea what planet the giant alien creature is from. Judging from its enormous gills, I’d have to guess it’s from a watery planet. Reminder: please let me know if you plan to be in the office on Memorial Day so I can request HVAC for your floor.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Amazon Customer Reviews: Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

For those of you who mock the wolf shirt beware. There is an old Navajo story about a young man who made fun of another man for wearing a wolf trio shirt. Legend has it that in his sleep, the wolves on the other man’s shirt came to life and tore his body to shreds. They never found any part of that man’s body. The Wolf is something to be respected and feared, not treated like a novelty.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Nice Muscle!

Hands down the most inexplicably bizarre game for Wii I’ve ever seen

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Respectful Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Introduction to Microcontroller Programming: The Flatulometer

The inspiration for this project was to determine who could generate the worst flatulence measurable in a personally unbiased manner.

Friday, May 8, 2009

The Meat Ship

Floating high on the 17,000 calorie seas, made with Bacon, sausages, pastry, mince, it’s all meat, and it’s coming to pillage your arteries!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Poets Ranked by Beard Weight

Underwood arrives at the gist of his thesis: that there is a direct correlation between personal appearance and artistic proficiency and integrity, or what, in the case of the bewhiskered brethren of the literary fraternity, he elsewhere calls “poetic gravity” or beard weight. It might be said, in short, that Underwood’s motto is the beard makes the bard.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Talking Gadget Theater: Wrath of Kindle

The Kindle 2 and iPod Shuffle perform Wrath of Khan

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Real Life Twitter

“Standing next to the hottest girl ever, but I’m too embarrassed to say anything.”

Saturday, April 11, 2009

T.S. Eliot’s Letter to George Orwell Rejecting ‘Animal Farm’

“… Your pigs are far more intelligent than the other animals, and therefore the best qualified to run the farm– in fact, there couldn’t have been an Animal Farm at all without them: so that what was needed (someone might argue), was not more communism but more public-spirited pigs.”

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Web Trend Map 4 – Final Beta

The 333 most influential Web domains and the 111 most influential Internet people charted on a Tokyo subway map.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Executives-Only Version of Recent AIG Security Memorandum

Be mindful at all times of your surroundings, especially if you are surrounded by a large group of very angry people you do not recognize. These are taxpayers.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Franz Kafka International

The world’s most alienating airport …

Thursday, March 26, 2009

iPhone Band

The Mentalists play Kids by MGMT on their iPhones and iPod Touches, using only apps downloaded from the App Store.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Mega Man 9 Rock Medley

Every song from the video game Mega Man 9 rearranged into 7-minute rock epic

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About John

John Paczkowski has been poking fun at the tech industry and the personalities that drive it since 1997. From 1999 to 2007, he wrote the award-winning tech news Web log Good Morning Silicon Valley for the San Jose Mercury News, Silicon Valley's daily newspaper.

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Ethics Statement

Here is a statement of my ethics and coverage policies. It is more than most of you want to know, but, in the age of suspicion of the media, I am laying it all out.

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