The original paragraph

Shares in Motorola were dragged deep into the mud Friday following the long-suffering telecommunications venture’s announcement that it would release 4,000 more employees into the wild. These in addition to the 26,000 the company plans to sack by year’s end. 30,000 offered up for human sacrifice? Ugly news, especially for a venture whose second-quarter sales have dropped 19 percent in the past year. While Motorola insists it will reach profitability before the year is out, analysts weren’t quick to put their fears of a death spiral behind them. In a further nauseating turn of events for the ill-starred venture, SG Cowen and Bear Stearns both cut earnings estimates for Motorola. Shares in the company plumbed the depths still further on the news.
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My replacement paragraph

Shares in Motorola were made more affordable Friday following the altruistic telecommunications venture’s announcement that it would provide another 4000 employees to bolster the shrinking labor pool. These in addition to the 26,000 the company plans to make available by year’s end. Heartwarming news, especially for a venture that has, in an obvious attempt to create a more level playing field, graciously reduced its sales 19 percent in the past year. While Motorola insists it will reach profitability before the year is out, analysts were not quick to put their optimism on hold with regard to company’s continued generosity. In a further serendipitous turn of events for the munificent venture, SG Cowen and Bear Stearns both cut earnings estimates for Motorola. Shares in the company became more approachable than at anytime in recent memory on the news.

You’re going to need to brush up on your dysphemism skills again.