Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Top 50 Fictional Weapons of All Time
Ash’s Chainsaw Hand. The Sword of Omens. The Ultimate Nullifier!
Ash’s Chainsaw Hand. The Sword of Omens. The Ultimate Nullifier!
Well, the street didn’t much care for Apple’s latest financial guidance, did it? Shares of the company tumbled in after-hours trading after Apple offered a disappointing second-quarter outlook.
Though Apple posted its highest quarterly earnings and sales in history today thanks to strong sales of Macs and iPods, its second-quarter guidance fell well short of Wall Street’s expectations.
It doesn’t matter how good or bad the product is, the fact is that people don’t read anymore. Forty percent of the people in the U.S. read one book or less last year. The whole conception is flawed at the top because people don’t read anymore.”
–Apple CEO Steve Jobs pronounces Amazon’s Kindle e-book reader DOA.
Apple introduced a new version of its eight gigabyte iPod nano digital media player this morning. And it’s pink, which according to Apple is among the iPod’s “much-requested” colors (noticeably absent from that list: the “National Park Bench Brown” shade pioneered by Microsoft’s Zune team.)
“Customers are going to love the gorgeous new pink iPod nano,” [...]
Looks like eBay CEO Meg Whitman may make good after all on her pledge that no CEO should stay more than a decade. Whitman, the public face of eBay for the past 10 years, is reportedly preparing to retire. She has been delegating more tasks to deputies over the last few months and is expected to decide on her retirement in the coming weeks, The Wall Street Journal reports, quoting “people familiar with the matter.”
When all is said and done, Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang’s abattoir may prove more proficient at slaughtering careers than sacred cows. The company is reportedly planning to lay off hundreds of employees in an effort to rein in its budget and revive its flagging fortunes.
Apple has destroyed the music business–in terms of pricing–and if we don’t take control, they’ll do the same thing on the video side.”
–NBC Universal chief executive Jeff Zucker, Oct. 28, 2007
We’ve said all along that we admire Apple, that we want to be in business with Apple. We’re great fans of Steve Jobs.”
–NBC Universal chief executive Jeff Zucker, Jan. 20, 2008
John Paczkowski has been poking fun at the tech industry and the personalities that drive it since 1997. From 1999 to 2007, he wrote the award-winning tech news Web log Good Morning Silicon Valley for the San Jose Mercury News, Silicon Valley's daily newspaper.
Here is a statement of my ethics and coverage policies. It is more than most of you want to know, but, in the age of suspicion of the media, I am laying it all out.
Includes “Pigs in a Polka,” “Rabbit of Seville” and, of course, “What’s Opera, Doc?”
Take the famous ballads and duets of West Side Story, insert a dozen mentions of famous social media sites like twitter and facebook, and this is what you get.
An iPod mini rebuilt with a wooden case
Star Wars meets Magnum, P.I.
Music videos recreated with new lyrics based on what’s actually happening in them. Daydream Believer and Total Eclipse of the Heart are particularly good.
In response to numerous e-mails, I have no idea what planet the giant alien creature is from. Judging from its enormous gills, I’d have to guess it’s from a watery planet. Reminder: please let me know if you plan to be in the office on Memorial Day so I can request HVAC for your floor.
For those of you who mock the wolf shirt beware. There is an old Navajo story about a young man who made fun of another man for wearing a wolf trio shirt. Legend has it that in his sleep, the wolves on the other man’s shirt came to life and tore his body to shreds. They never found any part of that man’s body. The Wolf is something to be respected and feared, not treated like a novelty.
Hands down the most inexplicably bizarre game for Wii I’ve ever seen
Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.
The inspiration for this project was to determine who could generate the worst flatulence measurable in a personally unbiased manner.